Holy Orders
by alirodina
Summary: hazel asks gato if there will come a time when his protector would leave him. implied gatoxhazel. i don't know, i like them together.


Saiyuki Reload Gunlock: Holy Orders

Author's Note: This belongs to Kazuya Minekura. I suppose many of you would want to wring my sad little neck after reading this, but heck, to each his own man. And I really like the pairing.

" Don't leave me."

The sentence hung over the silent room like the shadow of a ghost, the mere drawing of breath that nobody ever hears. He turned so that the other could see the faint outline of his face against the dark backdrop of the evening skies. He looked like a phantom there, standing by the narrow window in his nightgown, the medallion catching the flickering light from the dozen candles in the room. The face Gato knew like the back of his hand, watching, as he had for years and years, the pained expression slowly fade away into bitter indifference. The dull listlessness.

But Hazel was not as distracted now, frowning as he was, the greater part of his countenance hidden from the other's view with the shadows. The voice was low, melodic, forceless as always, if you will. But both were aware that the sentence uttered had been intentionally low; that had it been louder, the unfamiliar strains of self doubt and hurt would surface so that the dulcet voice would falter, break in mid sentence. Betraying the pain and loneliness the priest would never admit to.

And then perhaps, Hazel had been blind to his own plight. That he had never realized how lonely he was, and the extent of his own pain. But wasn't that why he chose Hazel over his own life? He had wanted the child to experience more than twisted attempts for vengeance, more than death and miscalculations, more than private sufferings in life. That he was so young made it seem more tragic, a child like that, looking so self possessed when he was floundering blindly, drowning in his tortured world. He wanted to save that child, whose face was as sweet as the porcelain ones that peer at you from the toyshop windows, if he had not looked so bitter, so unsure in his actions, so lost.

And so he gave that child his life. Really had given up his soul, as the lovers of old used to promise each other. Thinking of giving that one another chance at life, to conquer the demons within his own dead soul, and his own tortured mind. Yes, he had given up his life for that child. Hoping to alleviate the pain in those large blue eyes. To see the pale face perhaps brighten with a smile.

But has he really succeeded in anything?

Or had his choice only opened a stonier path for that lost one to follow?

Looking at the priest now, he wasn't too sure. He had planned on guarding Hazel, make sure that he will not commit the same mistakes, experience the same pain as before his rebirth, but where had that led him? In the end, it seemed that he had forgotten. That to have that child with him, watching the child grow up into the man that faced him now, had been enough. He could not say the words to make that person angry, cannot say anything that would make Hazel impatient, or even suspicious of him.

That in the course of their unusual companionship, him forever the silent partner, the mute bodyguard, even as he played guardian over the boy he had saved, he had lost himself. Have laid aside all thoughts concerning Hazel's wrong ideologies, his long drawn out hatred for demons. He had gone along Hazel's journey, did what he was told, because to do otherwise was to sadden that child, to estrange him from the only person, perhaps, who cared so much for him that he would give up his own soul to help him.

Without realizing it, without even thinking of its possibility, he had fallen in love with that waif of Fate. Watching as he did as the boy grew up, knowing him like no one else did, understanding Hazel better than he did himself, wasn't that characteristic of silent, kind Gato?

" You will die if you leave me." the priest stressed his point, a faint strain of desperation in his voice. " I will… I will not tolerate that." But that hadn't been what he was going to say. He did not care if Gato knew it. It was obvious, Hazel can't survive without him. And it was not even a matter of the other acting out as the bodyguard, Hazel could resurrect anybody, much less make them his slaves. It was not that. It went deeper than that. He himself did not so much understand it as he was aware of it. He trusted Gato. He had always been here. Even when the priest had not needed him, he was at his side, making his presence indispensable, making Hazel dependent on him and only him.

_And am I digging my own grave?_ Was to trust to be failed? " Gato!"

" I will protect you." The other answered, in a low monotone.

" Is it ever enough? Would you leave me someday?" he went on, as if he hadn't heard. The windows had been opened slightly, allowing the night breeze to play with the candlelight, to ruffle his longish white hair. He was shivering in his light clothes, but did not seem to notice it. " Do you hate what I do, disapprove of it. Would you rebel against me!"

" I don't see why you have to worry about that." He was answered. Gato stood up, approaching the priest slowly. " You can kill me if I turn against you. It is as you said, I can't leave you." He closed the windows, the soft click of the wood hitting wood cutting through the crackling of the cheap tallow candles and the singing of the cicadas. He was looking down now at Hazel, who had raised his face.

" I can't." the other hissed. " You know I can't." _Can kill you as I could tear away this medallion and cast it to the seas. _

" Don't worry about it, Hazel." Gato said.

There. I know, it had no story line, and it was a waste of time. But it's so fun! To those who have actually caught on what I'm doing, yeah. I love delving into other people minds, you know, analyzing them, trying to guess what they are thinking even as the voice is speaking for them, making them live, in their own 2D way. I really like this pair. They're so cheesy::squeal:

Speaking of which, do you really know how Gato is spelled? I had this weird feeling it should be Gateau, you know, chocolate gateau and hazel nuts… X3. but anyway, this is how the encoders spelled it in the series I have watched. So I'll use it.

And Hazel is so H. O. T. XD.


End file.
